5 Ways to Prepare to Meet With Your Wedding Officiant

Posted Feb 21, 2020

Be Ready to Share Your Stories

Your officiant should get to know you well so that he or she is able to make your ceremony uniquely yours.  Be ready to share the stories of how you met, how you were engaged, who you are as individuals and what you look forward to as a married couple.  I often ask my couples to share their “Top Five” list of things they love most about each other, and maybe a pet peeve.  With your stories, I will be able to bring laughter and tears to your guests, bringing out all of those special times and tributes that brought you together.


Start to Describe Your Dream Ceremony

Your officiant should offer a ceremony that is made just for you; one that recognizes who you are as a couple unlike any other couple they’ve wed before.  Whether you want traditional or contemporary, formal or informal, let your officiant know exactly what you hope for.  Experienced professionals will hear what you envision and create an experience that balances the familiar and traditional with the creative and unique.


Remember: It’s All About the Vows

Your vows are the entire reason for having a wedding in the first place. They lay the legal foundation for a marriage. If you want to write your own vows as a way to honor your unique “couple-hood”, to lift up and honor what your relationship means to you and the promises you make to keep that relationship alive for the years to come, let your officiant know.  He or she can guide you as much as you’d like.



A professional wedding officiant isn’t going to grill you to see if you really should be getting married or not.  Your meeting is not a test!  So take a deep breath, count to 10, and step right into a conversation all about making your special day the very best!


Plan to Talk About The “Hard to Talk About” Stuff – the Contract and Fee

Unless you are a member of a congregation and being married by the church’s religious leader, you will need to pay your officiant. Fees will vary based on what services you choose, for example, do you want your officiant at the rehearsal (a good choice!), do you want to deepen and enrich your relationship through Couples Coaching, is there travel?  Your officiant should give you a clearly defined list of fees and a have a contract stating exactly what you can expect of him or her. 

This guest post by Rev. Lee Atherton originally appeared on her website: coachrev.com